Co-parenting amicably can sometimes seem impossible, but doing so is one
of the best ways to provide children of divorced or separated parents
with stability and a close relationship with both of their parents. There
aren’t many who would claim that accomplishing this feat is easy,
but most would agree that it is worth it. Parents who are able to put
aside their relationship difficulties in order to co-parent agreeably
for their children often do so under great stress, but stress associated
with co-parenting will decrease as time passes in almost every instance.
In order to accomplish this admirable challenge and develop a cordial
working relationship with your ex for the sake of your children, you have
to remember to remain calm, be consistent and avoid or quickly resolve conflict.
Making Joint Custody Work:
Tip #1: Identify what you can and cannot control and accept it. Accepting the
things you cannot change will free up a lot of your emotional energy that
is best used to benefit your kids. It will also release a lot of stress
that makes an amicable, working relationship with your ex extremely difficult.
Tip #2: Leave the past behind you and live in the here and now with your children.
If you’re constantly upset and worried about what your ex could
be doing that won’t benefit the children or might harm them in any
way, you are not in the present. Instead of spending all your time worrying
about what might happen when you aren’t around, be mindful of the
“right now.” Your children will benefit.
Tip #3: Make creating a calm and emotionally stable home environment one of your
top priorities. It’s a much more useful and effective use of your
time and energy than worrying about the instability of your ex’s
home and how it may be damaging to your children. Too much fear will lead
you to distraction and will make it harder for you to provide the stability
and calm home life that your children need from you.
The divorce is over, but the relationship continues. That’s what
it means to have kids. You probably don’t live together anymore,
but you may find that the stresses that led to the dissolution of your
marriage are not only still evident, but may even be escalating; particularly
if you and your ex disagreed over parenting methods, or fundamental belief
systems. Many will benefit from attempting to alter their perspective.
Try considering your divorce as a means of achieving a clearer vision
of what you can and can’t control. Co-parenting is an opportunity
to develop a useful skill: letting things go that you can’t stop
If you’re having difficulty maneuvering your current parenting plan
and co-parenting only seems to be getting more and more difficult, contact
Arizona Family Law Attorneys. We have extensive experience dealing with all
types of child custody issues. If necessary, we can help you pinpoint potential modifications to your
current parenting plan that could make coming to a positive and stable
co-parenting balance with your ex a real possibility.