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Adoption Debate: Should it Be a Secret?

Adoption Debate: Should it Be a Secret?

In years past, it was fairly common for adopted children not to betold of their adoption. Their adoptive parents and birth parents usually never met or knew much about each other. In many cases, it was a big, family secret, but secrets, by nature, don’t stay secret forever. Many feel that secrecy regarding their adoption left them with negative feelings about their situation, and a shock later in life when the news was finally discovered or revealed. Modern adoptions are usually more “open.”

Adoption agencies have educational policies in place to provide adoptive families with the information and background that they need in order to consider the importance of telling their children about their adoption beginning at a young age. This avoids the negative feelings in most instances and is a surefire solution to avoid the problem of the child receiving a shock later in life upon discovery of their own adoption. In the modern adoption scenario, it’s also common for women who choose adoption to get to know the family that will be adopting the baby. Some even maintain a relationship with the adoptive family after the process is completed.

It seems that everyone has heard a story of a child or even adult who suddenly discovered that they were a big family secret. Everyone else knew and kept the information regarding their adoption away from them. In some cases, a large portion of the town where the adoptive family lives may even know, but the information was kept from the adopted child. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Stories about kids or adults who suddenly discovered “the truth” are all over the country. If you don’t want your adopted child to be one of them, consider discussing the issue with a professional to determine what age is best to approach the subject. You want to be the one to tell them their story – otherwise you may accidentally assign them to “family secret” status and secrets are rarely secret for long.

For help planning your adoption or to discuss the ramifications of keeping your adoption secret please get in touch with the Arizona family law attorneys at Arizona Family Law Attorneys.

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