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Avoiding Parental Conflict: Making Co-Parenting Work After a Separation or Divorce

Avoiding Parental Conflict: Making Co-Parenting Work After a Separation or Divorce

Co-parenting amicably can sometimes seem impossible, but doing so is one of the best ways to provide children of divorced or separated parents with stability and a close relationship with both of their parents. There aren’t many who would claim that accomplishing this feat is easy, but most would agree that it is worth it. Parents who are able to put aside their relationship difficulties in order to co-parent agreeably for their children often do so under great stress, but stress associated with co-parenting will decrease as time passes in almost every instance. In order to accomplish this admirable challenge and develop a cordial working relationship with your ex for the sake of your children, you have to remember to remain calm, be consistent and avoid or quickly resolve conflict.

Making Joint Custody Work: Co-Parenting Tips

Tip #1: Identify what you can and cannot control and accept it. Accepting the things you cannot change will free up a lot of your emotional energy that is best used to benefit your kids. It will also release a lot of stress that makes an amicable, working relationship with your ex extremely difficult.

Tip #2: Leave the past behind you and live in the here and now with your children. If you’re constantly upset and worried about what your ex could be doing that won’t benefit the children or might harm them in any way, you are not in the present. Instead of spending all your time worrying about what might happen when you aren’t around, be mindful of the “right now.” Your children will benefit.

Tip #3: Make creating a calm and emotionally stable home environment one of your top priorities. It’s a much more useful and effective use of your time and energy than worrying about the instability of your ex’s home and how it may be damaging to your children. Too much fear will lead you to distraction and will make it harder for you to provide the stability and calm home life that your children need from you.

The divorce is over, but the relationship continues. That’s what it means to have kids. You probably don’t live together anymore, but you may find that the stresses that led to the dissolution of your marriage are not only still evident, but may even be escalating; particularly if you and your ex disagreed over parenting methods, or fundamental belief systems. Many will benefit from attempting to alter their perspective. Try considering your divorce as a means of achieving a clearer vision of what you can and can’t control. Co-parenting is an opportunity to develop a useful skill: letting things go that you can’t stop or control.

If you’re having difficulty maneuvering your current parenting plan and co-parenting only seems to be getting more and more difficult, contact Arizona Family Law Attorneys. We have extensive experience dealing with all types of child custody issues. If necessary, we can help you pinpoint potential modifications to your current parenting plan that could make coming to a positive and stable co-parenting balance with your ex a real possibility.
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