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Divorce Tips for Women

Divorce Tips for Women

Have you ever gone out to lunch with friends and realized once you were out that you happened to be the only non-divorcee at the table? Did divorce come up during lunch? If so, it’s more than likely that the majority of the divorced women had something to say about the matter.

Divorce Tips for Women: Out to Lunch with the Divorcees

Take your time recovering after divorce. Even if you are desperate to end the marriage, you might find yourself in need of more time to “bounce back” than you expected.

Consider finding a therapist who has experienced divorce firsthand. Some therapists, who have not gone through a divorce, can sometimes end up generating false hope instead of offering realistic expectations and guidance.

Obtain an experienced family law attorney. Many assume an attorney is an attorney and they turn to their old college buddy who is now the best criminal defense attorney in the state or their favorite cousin who just passed the bar and is going to work in real estate law. This is a mistake. Experience is important. You need an attorney that is well versed in family law in order to obtain the best settlement. They need to know state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers. And they absolutely MUST focus on divorce cases.

Know your finances, individual and joint. Be aware of which accounts have balances and which institutions hold which accounts. Obtain an all-inclusive list of the financial accounts with appropriate usernames and passwords, etc. 40% of divorce proceedings are about money.

Figure out your post-divorce plan – you need to budget as soon as possible. Make your financial well-being your top priority. Ignoring financial ramifications due to raw emotions and complicated legalities can result in poor decisions. Your divorce will be resolved, but the poor financial decisions you make during the proceedings will last a lifetime.

Don’t try to hurt your ex – it almost always backfires. You probably already know the obvious – badmouthing your ex will hurt your children. Don’t forget - anything you write about your ex online will be available forever. Your children will grow up and eventually they’ll be able to read. So take a deep breath before posting all the sordid details. It’s not unheard of for divorce clients to actively seek retribution by making affairs public. Use caution – consider whether or not the information will actually hurt you and your children as well as “getting back” at your ex. For instance, advising your husband’s boss that he had an affair with his secretary could end up getting him fired which would adversely affect his ability to provide financial support.

Take care to remember that being divorced does not make you a failure or less desirable. There are still stigmas out there connected to divorce so it’s important to know that being divorced doesn’t define who you are. It simply means that a relationship didn’t work out.

However hard you expect the holidays to be – they will be harder. Many find Christmas particularly difficult and experience feelings of loneliness and a strangely amplified awareness of the “broken” home. Consider taking a vacation or making plans with a sister, mother or friend.

Kids won’t usually tell their parents how they really feel about the divorce – watch their behavior. Children of divorced parents feel responsible for the breakup even when you emphatically state that it’s not their fault. Monitor children’s actions in order to figure out how they are dealing with the situation. Watch specifically for little ones who regress in their behavior (acting younger or suddenly wanting to sleep in bed with you or showing anger towards their siblings or peers). Adolescents often act out by drinking, skipping curfew or school. If you see this type of behavior in your children, address the issues as a family. Talk about the changes. Inform their teachers of the situation. If the behavior change is extreme, you may want to consider therapy.

If you have additional questions about getting divorced in Arizona or need to discuss any of the divorce tips for women listed above, please get in touch with the experienced divorce lawyers at Arizona Family Law Attorneys.
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