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5 Tips for a Successful Adoption

5 Tips for a Successful Adoption

Those who have gone through the adoption process often refer to it as a roller coaster ride. There are moments when you feel you have been climbing forever – working towards a desired result that never seems to arrive. Then suddenly you are hanging on for dear life as you are whipped through major stretches at breakneck speed, twisting and turning. You may lose sight of the ground and find yourself reacting instead of relying on your careful plans and preparations. What’s the trick to a successful adoption? You might say that it’s learning how to enjoy the ride for what it is...something you probably can’t predict, but that leads you right where you wanted to go. Struggling to stay grounded during your own roller coaster adoption ride?

Consider These 5 Tips for a Successful Adoption:

  1. Determine before you even start what a “successful” adoption means to you. Find out what specific quality would need to be present in order for you to feel that the adoption process was a successful one. That way you’ll know what to aim for and what to look for, whatever it may be: honesty, authenticity, respect, closeness, validation, etc. Be clear about what you want and then keep it at the forefront of your mind throughout the adoption.
  2. Use that one word you determined would make an adoption a “successful” one to bring you back when you are feeling lost in the process. Remind yourself of that particular value – work to bring it into each moment. It will be a trigger word that can keep you grounded.
  3. Don’t avoid the uncomfortable. Almost everyone involved in an adoption is going to find himself or herself outside of their comfort zone. Address the “uncomfortable” head on without denying the facts or attempting to downplay what is happening. Dealing with the “uncomfortable” is the best way to ensure that there won’t be any lingering negativity and you can simply revel in the joy of adoption.
  4. Accept and expect jealousy to rear its ugly head, but don’t accept it as a lifelong part of the process. Make jealousy’s time in the spotlight as transient as possible. Find a way to address it and let it go. Jealousy can sneak into the adoption through various avenues, including: adoptees feeling jealous of birth siblings, adoptees being jealous of the “control” the adults in the situation wield over their life, birth parents jealous of the time adoptive parents spend with the adoptees, adoptive parents jealous of the biological bond between their child and the birth family, etc. No matter where it comes from, acknowledge it, address it and let it go.
  5. Be open to change and growth. After a successful adoption almost every adoptive parent will say that they learned so much and grew in ways they could not have imagined before they adopted their child. Be willing to accept the opportunities for growth that will come with the new and exciting situation. Adoption will teach you things about yourself that you never knew, bring you into close relationships with strangers that you would never have developed otherwise, and so much more. Accept it as part of the ride and learn to love it.
If you or someone you love is interested in adoption, but you are unsure what the adoption process entails, please get in touch with the Arizona adoption lawyers at Arizona Family Law Attorneys today.
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