For those who have known they wanted to be
adoptive parents for a long time, saying that waiting is hard feels like a blatant under-exaggeration
of the situation. Waiting is hard, but when it comes to waiting for an
adoption, it can feel downright horrible. Then when it seems it can’t
get worse, you hear of others who were matched with an expectant mother
so quickly that they hadn’t even had time to finish reading the
first book on the subject they had collected. Why did they get picked
so quickly? Are they just lucky?
They might just be lucky, but when you’re sitting there hoping, longing
and checking your phone every half hour hearing that is not helpful so
we’ll set “luck” aside and move on to the other option.
Maybe they’re doing something different than you are. And if that’s
the case, what is it? Here are the top four reasons that some adoptive
parents are “matched” faster than others.
- Specified Limitations: The fewer limitations placed on the adoption match,
the more likely it is that a child will be matched with an adoptive parent.
For instance, some adoptive parents designate that they are open to infants
that have experienced prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs, or have a
family history of mental illness.
- Race & Gender: Specifications regarding race and gender can also result
in a longer wait simply because the likelihood of a match is less.
- Money: It can be a tough concept to acknowledge, but money does matter.
There are financial considerations to take into account when matching
an expectant mother with an adoptive parent, couple or family: the cost
of the adoption, the need for medical coverage for the birth mother, additional
birth mother expenses, etc. Then there’s the basic concept of money
spent on advertising/outreach to expectant mothers who may be considering adoption.
Networking: In the US, most domestic
infant adoptions leave the responsibility for choosing the adoptive parents to the expectant
women or birth parents. Adoptive parents who do a better job spreading
the word that they want to adopt amongst their family, friends and acquaintances
will often find a match through word of mouth sooner than others who were
less sharing with their decision to adopt.
It is difficult to predict what attracts birth parents or expectant mothers
when they are making the momentous decision of who will raise their child.
They may be searching for something specific like a family dedicated to
living in the country, or an older couple who lives in an urban setting,
or a family that doesn’t have pets, or a family that has no other
children, or a family that DOES have other children. It’s impossible
to predict. The very best advice is to be you, cross your fingers and
know that when it is right, it will happen.
If you have any questions about adoption in Arizona or how to adopt, please
contact one of the experienced adoption lawyers at
Arizona Family Law Attorneys. We have the knowledge and skills that you need to make it happen.