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Most Common Mistakes Made During Divorce

Most Common Mistakes Made During Divorce

Divorce is a serious business. The stakes are high. It starts with the ending of an emotional relationship, moves to dividing up assets accumulated throughout the marriage, and ends with determining legal decision making and parenting time when there are children involved. It’s obvious that there’s a lot on the line during the legal process of obtaining a divorce; which means there are a lot of ways to mess it up.

That’s why it’s so important to take the advice of those in the know when you are considering divorce. No matter how obvious the advice seems, consider the source before you take it to heart and start to build your plans for divorce on it. Make sure that the sources you are considering as expert actually have something relevant to share based on past experience and most importantly, avoid the most common mistakes.

Most Common Mistakes Made During Divorce:

#1: Obtaining legal advice from non-legal sources. If you need legal advice (and you do) speak to an attorney who is experienced in handling divorce matters.

#2: Sharing the “dirty secrets” about your ex with the kids. Putting down your ex or even simply disrespecting them in front of the children will only have adverse effects. It generates sadness, guilt confusion, depression and insecurity in the children who desperately want to love both of their parents.

#3: Keeping quiet to avoid confrontation. Many who are in the midst of divorce can look back on their marriage and see clearly that part of the problem was that they did not speak up when necessary. Sadly, many don’t realize that they are still doing it – don’t allow guilt or fear to dictate the divorce process. Don’t make the same mistakes you may have made in your marriage. Voice your opinions and advocate for yourself.

#4: Avoiding thinking about “after” the divorce. Divorce is stressful and it can be hard. It can be very difficult to think further than the right here and now. But thinking and planning about after the divorce is final is critical.

#5: Keeping the kids completely in the dark to protect them. This is just as negative as bad mouthing your ex. Many kids don’t find themselves stressed because their parents overshare details, feelings, pain, anger, etc. Instead, they find themselves stressed because of the exact opposite situation: they don’t have enough information. They don’t know what’s going on and they worry incessantly. Put their fears at ease by being clear with them about what is going on and how it will affect them. Keep it general – they don’t need all the details.

#6: Jumping straight into a rebound relationship. When a relationship ends, it’s a very good idea to get dressed up and go out with a friend to have a good time: smile, have fun and be social. It’s healthy and laughter breeds happiness. If it’s in your nature – enjoy a bit of innocent flirting. But keep the positive emotions derived from your night out in the moment. Your world just got turned upside down. You need some time to get your footing before you introduce someone new into your world.

If you need additional assistance determining the best way to manage your Arizona divorce, please touch base with one of the AZ divorce lawyers at Arizona Family Law Attorneys today.


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