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Tips for Divorcing Parents: Stress Reducing Coping Mechanisms

Tips for Divorcing Parents: Stress Reducing Coping Mechanisms

All families are different. So it’s hard to state one hard and fast rule or set of rules regarding what is best for the “family” when attempting to make it through a divorce. Each family and each situation has its own variables that must be taken into consideration. What you can do – that will benefit every family – is consider some stress reducing guidelines in order to make adjusting a little easier for any family. Incorporating some of these stress-reducing suggestions as coping mechanisms can make the entire process less painful. While coping with divorce, remember that everyone’s timetable may not be the same – some may require more time than others to come to terms with the new situation.

Tips for Divorcing Parents: Stress Reducing Coping Mechanisms for Kids and Parents

Help Kids Manage their Feelings: Sit down with kids and encourage them to say what they are thinking and feeling. Allow them to speak while keeping this separate from what you are feeling. Be ready to answer questions – children will typically have concerns and ask questions regarding their sense of loss of family. Let them discuss what they feel – positive or negative – about the situation.

Take the High Road When it Comes to Discussing Your Ex: Always keep any parental conflict or arguments away from the children. Never make them choose sides. Answer questions naturally and honestly, but don’t bad mouth your ex to your children. Never use the kids as messengers – particularly if you are experiencing parental conflict. Expect resistance and some difficulty as your child or children adjust to a new spouse or a new spouse’s children. New spouses, blended families, etc. are some of the most difficult aspects of the divorce process. A new, blended family can cause a new period of adjustment. Keep the lines of communication open. Allow one-on-one time for parents with each child. Watch for signs of stress in order to help prevent problems from developing.

Reach Out for Support from Family and Friends: Lean on your support group in order to decrease stress in your life. A support network can be friends, relatives, a church or religious group, organizations designed for support such as Parents Without Partners, etc. It can be very useful for kids to meet other kids in similar situations who have developed healthy relationships with their separated or divorced parents. Parents can turn to other parents in similar situations to obtain support and help in finding solutions to problems unique to their situation. Legal divorce and separation can be painful for children. If possible, decrease the pain on their part by encouraging them to have as positive an outlook on both of their parents as possible.

Lastly, take care of yourself. Ask for help when you need it. Reduce stress in your life before it becomes overwhelming. Build new memories and enjoy the old family traditions you’ve always loved. If you have questions regarding the actual divorce process or you aren’t sure how to address legal decision making and parenting time issues, please get in touch with the experienced divorce lawyers at Arizona Family Law Attorneys.
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