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5 Reasons You May Not Be Getting an Adoption Match

5 Reasons You May Not Be Getting an Adoption Match

For those who have known they wanted to be adoptive parents for a long time, saying that waiting is hard feels like a blatant under-exaggeration of the situation. Waiting is hard, but when it comes to waiting for an adoption, it can feel downright horrible. Then when it seems it can’t get worse, you hear of others who were matched with an expectant mother so quickly that they hadn’t even had time to finish reading the first book on the subject they had collected. Why did they get picked so quickly? Are they just lucky?

They might just be lucky, but when you’re sitting there hoping, longing and checking your phone every half hour hearing that is not helpful so we’ll set “luck” aside and move on to the other option. Maybe they’re doing something different than you are. And if that’s the case, what is it? Here are the top four reasons that some adoptive parents are “matched” faster than others.

  1. Specified Limitations: The fewer limitations placed on the adoption match, the more likely it is that a child will be matched with an adoptive parent. For instance, some adoptive parents designate that they are open to infants that have experienced prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs, or have a family history of mental illness.
  2. Race & Gender: Specifications regarding race and gender can also result in a longer wait simply because the likelihood of a match is less.
  3. Money: It can be a tough concept to acknowledge, but money does matter. There are financial considerations to take into account when matching an expectant mother with an adoptive parent, couple or family: the cost of the adoption, the need for medical coverage for the birth mother, additional birth mother expenses, etc. Then there’s the basic concept of money spent on advertising/outreach to expectant mothers who may be considering adoption.
  4. Networking: In the US, most domestic infant adoptions leave the responsibility for choosing the adoptive parents to the expectant women or birth parents. Adoptive parents who do a better job spreading the word that they want to adopt amongst their family, friends and acquaintances will often find a match through word of mouth sooner than others who were less sharing with their decision to adopt.

It is difficult to predict what attracts birth parents or expectant mothers when they are making the momentous decision of who will raise their child. They may be searching for something specific like a family dedicated to living in the country, or an older couple who lives in an urban setting, or a family that doesn’t have pets, or a family that has no other children, or a family that DOES have other children. It’s impossible to predict. The very best advice is to be you, cross your fingers and know that when it is right, it will happen.

If you have any questions about adoption in Arizona or how to adopt, please contact one of the experienced adoption lawyers at Arizona Family Law Attorneys. We have the knowledge and skills that you need to make it happen.

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