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Which is More Stressful: Divorce or a Bad Marriage?

Which is More Stressful: Divorce or a Bad Marriage?

There’s a fairly famous quote on stress that many involved in a failing relationship would do well to consider. It says, “It’s not the load that bears you down, it’s the way you carry it.” When a relationship that you intended to last forever goes wrong, the mental and emotional (and sometimes physical) stress can be immense. When this occurs, we all have a choice of how we will carry the stress load. It’s a choice that for many can be whittled down to one simple question, “Which is more stressful…a divorce or living in a bad marriage?”

Most reading this will have already answered in their head. And the answer will have been followed with a dismissive phrase like, “of course.” Yet those answers would veer back and forth between the two options. Most will pinpoint the most stressful option as the “stress” that they know. Those who went through a stressful divorce will identify that as the most stressful option. And those who opted to stay in a bad marriage that was stressful will indicate that as the most stressful because that is what they know.

The truth of the matter is that we’re asking the wrong question. Both options have the potential to be very stressful. Instead of trying to find an option that will not come with any stress (which is impossible at this point) know that you will get through the stressful time and reach a point at which you can put the business behind you for good. Consider the two options in relation to the timeline of your life. How long will the stress of a divorce last? How long will the stress of a bad marriage last?

And more importantly, forget what will be stressful. Focus instead on what will bring eventual fulfillment and satisfaction. You’re not here living a life so that you can squeak by on minimal stress. You’re here living a life so that you can LIVE. Aim for what will bring you the most opportunities to seek life and be happy. So ask yourself, what will make me the happiest? Successfully obtaining a divorce or managing to stay in a bad marriage? This may give you the most appropriate answer of all.

If you have additional concerns or questions about the Arizona divorce process, we can assist you. Get in touch with one of the experienced Arizona divorce lawyers at Arizona Family Law Attorneys.
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